Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I pour the whiskey from now on
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize