i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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