This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize