we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize