the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
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It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
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I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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