I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
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My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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