Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize