oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I puked a lego.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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