she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize