yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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