im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize