I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize