Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize