you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
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She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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