From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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