sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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