I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize