I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well I just put wine in my tea
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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