I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
my liver is dry heaving
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize