Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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