at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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