if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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