You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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