She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
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I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
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Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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