we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize