Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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