Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize