yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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