Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
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My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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