nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize