oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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