i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
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you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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