Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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