My nipple is on Facebook.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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