yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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