she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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