I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize