I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize