best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
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I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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