Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up http://tfl.nu/rtem
  Replies (23) Good night (3496) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote. http://tfl.nu/5km0
  Replies (128) Good night (1138) Bad night (34712)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people. http://tfl.nu/q5y8
  Replies (33) Good night (798) Bad night (3484) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef? http://tfl.nu/bmpn
  Replies (12) Good night (4017) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my cup is half full, half full of rum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): my cup is half full, half full of rum. http://tfl.nu/ajky
  Replies (11) Good night (5214) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end. http://tfl.nu/6dki
  Replies (5) Good night (2591) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  oh. my. god. yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life. (1-360): oh. my. god. yes. http://tfl.nu/jrnd
  Replies (14) Good night (5659) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me? http://tfl.nu/3q2x
  Replies (5) Good night (2325) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (473): View more from Grenada-Carib

  Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (473): Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year. http://tfl.nu/y5js
  Replies (11) Good night (2270) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs. http://tfl.nu/6a2k
  Replies (13) Good night (1940) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate. http://tfl.nu/a3k9
  Replies (18) Good night (3952) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room. http://tfl.nu/ruma
  Replies (4) Good night (1224) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet." http://tfl.nu/xflq
  Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1356) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember.. http://tfl.nu/rkzm
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt

Randomize