i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We need to get me chipped asap
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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