So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
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Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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