Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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