areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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