he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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