i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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