I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize