4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
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Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize