i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize