I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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